The Little Things in Life (4): The Power of Compliment


This is a continuation of a series of articles I started three days ago on The Little Things in Life.

4. Validate People


“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”(Proverbs 25:11)

In 2005, Lance Miller, a world champion public speaker, gave a profound speech on ‘The Ultimate Question’. He emphasized on the importance of validation (the act of giving compliments to people and making them feel special). Most of the points he made form a significant part of this article.

Compliments are a simple, yet powerful relationship building tool. There are many different reasons to give a compliment. The most compelling—it makes you feel good. You cannot give a sincere compliment without feeling great. It’s impossible.

Each time you give a compliment, you focus completely on the other person. You actively look for positive traits or attributes and specific examples. By doing this on a regular basis, you begin to see how richly multifaceted people really are. People’s positive traits jump out at you. Your thought processes shift from looking for the worst in people to looking for the best. Being proactive spills over into your life. You see the possibilities, not the obstacles. Compliment giving is a jump-start for looking at the world in a positive, refreshing, stimulating, and creative way.

Everyone wants to be loved. They want to be accepted. One of the ‘little’ things in life that most people often neglect is validation. We tend to be so wrapped up in ourselves that we don’t even see the need to offer sincere compliments to people.

Truth is validating people won’t make you feel less important. On the contrary, you become important. We rise by lifting others. A simple “Good morning Ms. Fisher. You look adorable!” could  be what she really needs to have a beautiful day. How beautiful it would be if you put a smile on someone’s face by validating them!

We are human. We are by nature imperfect. It takes no special talent to find imperfection in another person, but everyone goes through life with a desire to be right and valued. Discover it and bring it out in them.

Over the years, I discovered that I got what I validated. I found out that I brought out the goodness in others by validating them.

There are loads of problems in this world. Be that as it may, I’ve learnt that there is not a problem that exists between a parent and a child, between a husband and a wife, between a worker and her employer or between races, cultures or nations that did not stem directly from the inability or unwillingness to validate the rightness, the value and the goodness in another.

Make a conscious effort today to pay someone a compliment. For this is one of the little things in life.

For reading this article, you are amazing, and don’t you forget that.

Keep soaring!

Seyi Bale

January 2018

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